Bernie Rhodenbarr’s secret recipe—

Nov 9, 2015 | Bernie Rhodenbarr, The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons

I just posted this on Facebook, where it seems to be getting a lot of attention. So here it is for the rest of y’all:

BERNIE RHODENBARR’S PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY SANDWICH

1. Locate breadbox in host apartment. Remove two slices of bread.
2. Search cupboards and fridge for peanut butter.
3. Search cupboards and fridge for jelly.
4. Get a knife from the silverware drawer.
5. Spread peanut butter on one slice of bread.
6. Spread jelly on other slice of bread.
7. Combine two slices of bread, with peanut butter and jelly facing inward.
8. Slice sandwich in half diagonally.
9. Eat sandwich.
10. Wash and put away knife.
11. Wipe prints off peanut butter and jelly jars and replace.
12. Resume illegal activities in host apartment.

Enjoy!

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6 Comments

  1. Thomas Pluck
    Thomas Pluck on November 9, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    What, no soupcon of curry powder?
    Thanks to Bernie I can’t have a fried egg on toast without it…

    • LB
      LB on November 9, 2015 at 10:47 pm

      You know, I never thought of curry powder as an addition to a PBJ sandwich. Hmmm…

  2. Levin Messick
    Levin Messick on November 9, 2015 at 10:41 pm

    Darn, I never realized that a burglary is part of the recipe for a really good peanut butter and jelly sandwich

    • LB
      LB on November 9, 2015 at 10:48 pm

      It’s an emotional equivalent of MSG, Levin. Sharpens the palate.

  3. chris kovacs
    chris kovacs on November 10, 2015 at 7:25 am

    hmmmm…any bananas , or would that be too obvious…he’d have to take the peel with him…how unappealing !

    • LB
      LB on November 10, 2015 at 8:29 am

      Let’s keep it simple, Chris. Mess around with banana peels and you’re on a slippery slope.