Publishing circles were reeling today after this morning’s surprise announcement of the merger of pop fiction titans James Patterson and Clive Cussler, who between them are likely to account for twenty bestsellers in calendar year 2014 alone. While neither author could be reached for comment, a source close to both men confirmed that the deal will include all rights—film, electronic, and audio—to the two authors’ innumerable backlist titles as well as all current and future work.
“This is very unsettling,” declared Georgette Rasmussen, proprietor of Books Are Our Friends. “Independent booksellers are facing desperate challenges these days, and I don’t see how this can possibly help us.”
Interviews with two officers of Authors Guild, both of whom insisted on anonymity, brought curiously contradictory responses. “I think it’s very exciting,” said one. “This shows the great resourcefulness of our membership, and the inherent ability of writers to adjust to changing conditions in today’s publishing environment.”
Her colleague was less sanguine, characterizing the merger as “appalling, and very much of a piece with the consolidation in publishing. You could see the handwriting on the wall back in 1962, when Harper & Brothers gobbled up Row, Peterson & Co. If Patterson and Cussler combine, how can other authors possibly remain competitive? They’ll almost have to follow suit, and you can look forward to the day when half a dozen mega-writers dominate the market.”
The two Guild representatives did find one point of agreement. “If you want to know who gets the blame,” said one, “you don’t have to look any further than Amazon.”
Literary agent Morgan Wheelwright cautioned against a rush to judgment. “First of all,” she pointed out, “there’s no certainty that the Department of Justice is going to sign off on something this unprecedented.” Her chief concern, she added, was for those clients of hers who were “co-writers” for one or the other of the principals. “We’ve been assured that our writers’ jobs are safe, and that if anything there’ll be a need for additional writers to keep the increasing stream of books flowing. If that’s so, I think this is a great opportunity for our writers, and writers in general.”
Marketing maven Jason Bordelaise echoed this sentiment. “I can see a time,” he said, “when every writer will start out by ghosting for or co-writing with a mega-writer, and that’s a win-win for everybody. The huge challenge in publishing has always been selling an author’s first book, an unknown quantity with no market awaiting it. And after that there’s the hurdle of the second novel, scorned by all those readers who were understandably disappointed with the first. But now there won’t be any first or second novels. Every book published will be a known quantity. Who could possibly object to that?”
One executive of a Big Five firm, insisting on anonymity, questioned the term merger. “Patterson has 15 books slated for 2014 publication,” he said. “Cussler has what, five? You call it a merger. I call it a lark pie.”
A little Googling helped us with that one. When Syria and Egypt linked up in 1958 to form the United Arab Republic, cynics likened the disproportionate amalgam to a pie consisting of equal parts of lark and camel—one lark to one camel. (In 1961, the Syrian lark took its leave and the experiment was over.)
The blogosphere, as you can imagine, has been buzzing, as internet observers and ardent self-publishers have been airing and sharing their thoughts on the new development. While every possible view has been given voice, all seem to agree that the times are indeed changing.
As further evidence of this, please note the rumor—still unsubstantiated!—that talks have been initiated between representatives of Stephen King and Mary Higgins Clark.
Erm…not that I know the first thing about publishing, but is this a joke? It IS actually the middle of February, right?
You (library) card, you!
This -had- to have come from the pen of the writer of the latest -Burglar- and the more puckish Erengraf stories. Fuhh-Knee!!!!! And no, LANIE, it is not the first day of the month two down the line.
I expect that there will be a “cease and desist” letter issued forthwith by the firm of Crais, Child, Slaughter and Lehane.
Priceless, Larry.
Tee hee. Fine reporting, Larry. Anybody found the Syrian lark?
I thought it was February not April 1st.
Brilliant, the more I read the funnier this became.
Does this mean that Alex Cross gets to drive Dirk Pitt’s antique cars?
Our Larry is still the King!!!
One question: Who will get first billing, post-merger?
i don’t get it, they’re like merging DNA and becoming one body? 😉
I want to read the book (ghost written, of course) which results in the merger between Janet Evanovich and Nora Roberts.
Happy LB was the first one to break this ground-breaking news to the public.
As if!
Actually, A Dirk Pitt/Alex Cross crossover book wouldn’t even need to have words in it to be an instant bestseller.
Big problem:
They’ll have to reduce the title font size on the cover to make room for both author names
Tee hee! This was awesome.
I do believe i have come up with a theory … Is our Larry hinting of a possible work of collusion between The Scud and Bernie the Burglar, or Keller and The Scud in one fantastic story. The more i think about this, the more fantastic it sounds!
When can we pre order, please, Mr Block, and Ms Erin? 😉
Uh, no, Greggorio. Don’t even think about it.
Oh, well, it was fun for a few moments there. All i can do now is read and dream, read and dream, read … and … Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Wowowowow… the DOJ surely must do something! Otherwise they would monopolize the best seller list without writing a single word, thus destroying the bookwriting industry.
And you think that would be a bad thing, Bara?
I knew it! I knew it. I said things would all go to Hell when that guy showed up with moveable type and a machine he called a printing press!